Opposites Deflect
by Anameshouldbehere
Summary: I would try to summarize this but... nah. It would only lead to spoilers. Basically, three good people VS one bad chick. People will die, stuff will blow up, there will probably be a romance at some point etc. etc. etc. Oh yeah and Disney own everything here, not me.
1. Chapter 1

**Going to get straight into this because there's not much I can say here apart from this series is not going to be like my other one (un-ending until I decide to finish it). I have a plan and everything, which is just… weird. I'm used to just picking ideas from lists I make and writing whatever comes to mind…**

**I've probably bumbled on long enough.**

**OH DAYUM I ALMOST FORGOT (this was added half way through writing), I'm going to be adding asterisks to this story. Basically next to certain words there will be these *[number]. At the bottom of the page there will be *[word] [number] : [description].**

**For example: that thing is a Twi-lek*[1].**

***Twi'lek [1] : "Twi'leks, sometimes referred to disparagingly as "Tail-heads", were an omnivorous humanoid species originating from the planet Ryloth. Their distinctive features included colorful skin, which varied in pigment from individual to individual, and a pair of shapely prehensile tentacles that grew from the base of their skulls."**

**Thank god for Wookieepedia by the way. If you want to learn Star wars stuff, go there. It's pretty damn great. (Not getting paid by Wookieepedia by the way, although I would like to be).**

**For anyone asking "why you do this? Silly man!" A lot of people don't know Star Wars stuff. I want everyone to be able to enjoy this (if it's good) so having half the readers not knowing what certain things are would be a bad thing.**

_**Chapter 1: Broken peace**_

_139 ABY – Over an un-named planet in the unknown regions:_

A sole freighter floated through the vast emptiness of a small solar system without a single notable thing to be said of it. A few uninhabited planets orbited a star that was neither large nor small. None of the planets were even capable of sustaining life with the exception of one, yet nothing grew there either. However, the planet had one feature which was prominent enough to warrant the Jedi sending a Zabrak* [1] master and his human padawan to investigate, though she was not of the opinion that it was anything of note.

The feature in question was a small disturbance in the force which was not strong enough to be a living creature yet was still strange enough to deserve sending people with little else to do to investigate.

The starship was about to enter the planet's orbit above the disturbance as the Padawan wandered into the cockpit.

"Greeting young one. Please, take a seat."

"Yes Master. Have you worked out what the disturbance is?"

"I have."

"Care to explain what it is?"

"Patience. You will see it the moment we get past those clouds."

Just as the ship began slowing to land it passed through the thin layer of clouds. The surface of the planet came into view, revealing a baron surface which appeared to have been scorched all over. The only thing saved from the devastation was a pyramid.

"What… happened here?"

"I do not know. Clearly there was a civilisation but no longer."

"But what could have done this?"

"I believe the more potent question would be: who did this?"

The ship landed close to the pyramid, kicking up vast amounts of dust completely blocked the view from the cockpit. A few second went by with neither Jedi knowing how close they were to crashing. The threat of crashing was all too real in the low-tech freighter.

After what felt like an age of suspense the landing gear hit the ground which, with the lack of shock absorbers, sent jolts through the vehicle which rattled everything not bolted firmly down.

"Nice landing." The Padawan stated sarcastically before flipping a few switches to clear the dust from the cockpit windscreen.

"The Force can only guide me so far."

The master pressed a few buttons and powered the ship down before getting out of his seat and going out of the now-open door. The padawan followed suit, leading to a fit of coughing on her part.

"Dust in your lungs?"

"Unfortunately so. How come you suffering the same?"

"I've had much worse than dry dust in my lungs."

Once the dust was fully cleared the two Jedi found themselves at the steps of the huge pyramid with an entrance about a hundred steps up, that only being half way up.

"You've got to be kidding." The padawan stated before noticing the look of elation upon her master's face.

"I do love a good bit of exercise."

"So that means we're going up then."

"If you would prefer, I can go up while you dig through the side."

"… Suddenly steps do not sound as bad."

The pair made their way up the steps slowly. When they got to the doorway they went inside to find a large open room with two doorways on the walls to their sides and another on the far side which went to the outside. In the middle of the room was a fireplace with a chimney and red carpets covered the floors. All around the sides of the rooms were large pillars which were just about large enough for one person to hide behind each. A few tables and chairs were scattered around the room and chandeliers hung from high the ceiling.

Even the master Jedi was confused by the state of the inside of the building compared to the devastation which covered the rest of the planet.

Suddenly the entire room became covered with dark side energy as a man in Sith Acolyte Armour [can't describe, Google it] from The Great Galactic War almost four thousand years ago walked out from the doorway to the left. The Jedi jumped behind two of the closest pillars to avoid being spotted then began spying on the man. He Looked as if he had recently woken up, the yawns and stretching of arms showing the fact to all present. The man scratched his head then went over to the only piece of electronic equipment in the room and put a mug in it. Seconds later he pulled the newly-filled mug out and went over to sit on a chair near the fireplace.

The padawan poked her master with the force to get his attention. He looked over so she patted her lightsaber, pointed at the Sith then shook her head. The master mouthed "he doesn't have one?" to which the padawan nodded. He nodded back then pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it while running to up to the Sith, an action the padawan copied to a T. They both got within a metre of the Sith with their lightsaber's pointed at him. For a moment he didn't react at all until slowly putting the mug down on the floor and standing up.

"So uh… this is a weird way to wake up…"

"What happened to this planet?" The master questioned without moving an inch.

"… Something happened?"

"Have you looked outside lately?"

"No. I've been asleep. May I?"

The Sith shuffled to the right as to not impale himself upon the lightsaber's. He walked slowly to the doorway that leads to the outside with the Jedi staying only a few steps behind at all times. When the Sith reached the doorway he had to shield his eyes from the light. After his eyes has adjusted he put his hands on his hips and mumbled a "hmm."

"Gotta be honest with you, that is new. There was like, plants and shit before."

"Did another Sith cause this destruction?"

"What do you mean 'another Sith'? There's only one in this house and she's in the room over there." He asserted while turning around and pointing to the doorway to the right."

"You are surrounded by dark side energy and you are wearing ancient Sith armour yet you would have us believe that you are Jedi?"

"Who said anything about Jedi?"

"So you supposedly have no allegiance?"

"Well I always thought that someone would eventually visit and give me the choice between the two." He explained while scratching his head and making hand motions with his over hand.

"I don't think he's smart enough to be a Sith…" The padawan whispered to the master.

"Okay this is getting a bit much now. First you barge into my house, then you point these at me, then you suggest I'm a Sith and now you're insulting me! It's not a nice way to wake up!"

"So why are you surrounded by dark side energy?"

"Because of Ziletia."

"Who?"

"The Sith chick. Oh yeah I'm San by the way. Who are you?"

"Clearly you represent as much threat as anything else in this room. I am Master Ti'lee and this is my Padawan, Stetile." He said while putting away his lightsaber.

"Okay then Ti and Stet it is then. Nice to meet you." He said while removing the mask and pulling his hood down. San was clean shaven with scruffy, short and dark brown hair which seemed to naturally curve up at the front. He had piercing green eyes and a strong jaw. Clearly he was not a Sith as he showed none of the signs of dark side degradation, such as the pale skin or yellow eyes.

"We can meet Ziletia later then I'll explain that story and everything. First I say we go and meet Bro."

"It would be wise to confront the Sith before she finds a way to turn the odds in her favour."

"She's probably sleeping and she gets cranky as fuck in the morning. Actually, she's a bitch all the time."

"Why do you live in the same house as this Sith?"

"Long story. Let's meet Bro first because he's a good guy."

San clipped the Sith mask to his waist and walked over to the room he walked out of earlier. The two Jedi stood around in an awkward silence until the man walked back out, followed by another person in heavy duty storm-trooper armour from the Galactic Civil War with most of the front of the helmet replaced by a 30x30 grid of small lights which lit up individually to create makeshift faces, though they could only create eyes and a mouth. At the moment the person walked out it was displaying a straight face.

"Everyone this is Bro, Bro this is… I forgot their names."

The person referred to as Bro waved and displayed a smiley face on the helmet.

"Is Bro your actual name?" Stetile asked as she and Ti'lee walked up to the other two.

Bro nodded.

"I should mention that Bro doesn't say much. Hell, I can't even tell if he's a guy or a girl under the heavy armour."

"Why do you call them 'Bro' then?"

"You like it don't you Bro?"

Bro shook their head and put on an angry face.

"Yeah see Bro loves it. Anyways I'm bored so let's go meet Ziletia."

He walked over to the other door, peeked inside then turned around.

"So, there's a minor problem…"

"She's gone." Ti'lee stated, while running out the door to the outside. Stetile ran after him as San waltzed over to Bro.

Bro looked at San and smiled.

"We are not going with them."

The smile grew larger and Bro tilted their head slightly.

"No."

Once again the smile grew and the head tilted.

"Fine!"

Bro jumped in excitement and they both ran into the room before walking out again. San had two lightsaber's and San had a rocket launcher on their back, a machine-gun in their hands and five blaster pistols attached to various parts of the armour along with enough ammo to last a year.

They ran after the Jedi and got to the ship outside which was waiting for them, engines fired up at the ready.

Once everyone was aboard they took off. In the far distance was a tiny speck of a starship which Ziletia was using to get away. They all gathered in the cockpit as if being there and leaning forward would will the freighter to go faster.

"We have to stop that ship before she can jump to hyperspace." Ti'lee announced while Stetile adjusted everything and anything which would give the freighter just a bit more speed.

"It's too late to catch her here. If we work out her trajectory and we can hypothesise her destination." Stetile countered, getting a laugh from San.

"I hate to break it to you missy but we ain't catching her any time soon."

"Why?"

"Because that's not her. That is." He stated while pointing to another speck just before it disappeared into hyperspace.

"He's telling the truth. I see now the error we have made. We shall head back to the Praxeum*[2] and begin the search."

San looked at Bro and they both put on confused faces.

"What's a Praxeum?"

_**Yavin 4**_

A flock of birds fluttered out of a tree as the ship set down on the landing pad. The group emerged from the freighter and walked down the steps of the pad. San and Bro attracted more than a few sideways glances from the Republic soldiers, probably due to San having put his mask and hood on. As they walked towards the Praxeum through the jungle the stares from Republic soldiers were replaced by suspicious glances from Jedi.

"Why did you insist on staying in that armour when we had normal clothes on the ship?" Stetile asked, breaking the near perfect silence.

"Listen lady, I live by two rules. Number one: if it's female and hot I'll bang it. Number two: I'll use the coolest stuff even if it inconveniences me. In other words, the rule of cool."

"So far you've been smart enough not to try anything on me."

"Soo… many… jokes… but… can't… ARGH! Hey Ti would it be okay with you if I banged your padawan?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Bugger."

As they walked on in silence San nudged Bro on the arm before using the force to throw a pebble at the head of a nearby Jedi. They both giggled uncontrollably but managed to recover before the Jedi turned to stare at them. Bro smiled at him and waved then continued walking.

Their two Jedi companions exchanged a glance then sighed simultaneously.

"Do you guys even have an idea what a sense of humour is?"

"We do. There is, however, a difference between childishness and comedy."

"Aww screw you guys that was funny. If Jedi could be mad, he'd have been mad."

"I would advise you follow the lead of 'Bro' and remain quiet for this conversation." Ti'lee advised as a group of three Jedi met them at the entrance to the Praxeum.

"Welcome back Master Ti'lee and young Stetile. Who are these…"

Ti'lee and Stetile looked over at their companions to be greeted by the sight of the two throwing rocks at each other as if they were snowballs.

"… 'Interesting' individuals?"

"The one in Sith armour is San and the other is referred to as 'Bro' however their true name, gender and species remains unknown. We found them in a pyramid where they had been living with a Sith woman. Unfortunately she escaped before we could apprehend her."

"This is troubling news. We shall discuss this further inside. Your accomplices will have to surrender their weapons, however."

Instantly they stopped throwing rocks and turned to the meeting party.

"Bitch please I ain't giving you shit!" San declared as Bro put on an angry face and hugged the machine-gun close.

"We can't let you in if you insist upon keeping your weapons."

"Bro, quick meeting!"

The two got close before San whispered something barely detectable to Bro, who nodded. San turned around to the welcome party and announced:

"We are willing to give you the ammunition for Bro's guns and the crystals from my lightsaber's. But! Bro gets to keep one of his blaster pistols loaded and the crystals to my lightsaber's must be carried behind me by a female Togrutan*[3]."

"That's oddly specific."

"We have plans for every situation. When you meditate and chat for almost four thousand years you tend to plan ahead."

All of the Jedi's eyebrows rose at once.

"Oh yeah you guys don't know about that… wanna know the best part? It's not even the weirdest thing about me, Bro and Ziletia."

Once the weapons were sorted the group went inside. As they walked through the hallways of the Praxeum the only noise was the footsteps of San and Bro. Eventually everyone walked into a large room with a table in the middle where all the Jedi masters sat down. All the seats were taken so San, Bro, Stetile and the Togrutan girl leaned against the wall. San removed his mask and proceeded to whisper to the girl while the masters meditated. He managed to make her bluff and attempt to conceal a smile. He leaned towards her before being shoved away by one of the masters with the help of the Force.

"So long as you are within the Praxeum grounds you will refrain from such acts San."

"Hey I've had Mr Silence and a crazy Sith chick as my only company for almost four thousand years give me a break."

"If you've waited that long a few days won't make a difference."

San glared at the Jedi for a second before turning to Bro and pointing at them.

"This is your fault."

Bro gave a smile then looked back at the masters who had finally all finished meditating.

Master Ti'lee stood up and bowed.

"My fellow Jedi, we have encountered an enemy not seen for many years now. What we thought was a minor disturbance in the force has turned out to be two force-sensitive individuals. The one leaning on the wall is supposedly the light side of the two. San, please explain what you know of the Sith named Ziletia so we may work out a plan of action."

"Okay so: during the Great Galactic War I was a Republic soldier. After a lot of fighting my unit got to go home but on the way we got intercepted by some Imperial twats so we ended up running to the Unknown Regions to escape but, of course, they found us so we got in a fight and some explosions and shit later we crashed on some random planet. The rest of my dudes didn't survive that so I was like 'shit' when I got surrounded by locals, who were ugly as fuck by the way. Turns out they had a prophecy that some guy would fall from the sky, touch a gem thingy they had and bring great happiness or some shit. So, being the nice guy I am, I went along with it. Unfortunately, when I touched it my personality split in two between me and the Sith chick who appeared out of nowhere. At first I didn't realise that she got all the bad stuff so I tried chatting her up. That didn't work which was sad cause she's kinda hot. So I ended up getting punched then she used some Force shit to get the lightsaber a Jedi travelling with us had used. Being the cool guy I am I did the same thing but I got two instead. A VERY long fight later we decided it wasn't going anywhere so we set up in a pyramid the locals built and meditated. For me it felt like a few days later but then I found out it was a few thousand years later and I was pissed but then kinda proud because I still look so good after so long. Anyways something happened, Bro crashed on the planet, I made the helmet thingy for him, we all meditated and got coffee then two rude Jedi people came in and pointed their lightsaber's at me. So rude. I wasn't worried though because thousands of years of meditation does mellow you out a bit. Plus I can do all sorts of Force stuff. But yeah… I think that's it… oh yeah also she's more of a Forcey person I'm more of a 'stab it till it dies' kind of guy."

Everyone in the room looked at him with an eyebrow each raised before it dawned on all of them that he was telling the truth.

"So you got split into two people? One took all the evil traits and one took all the good traits?"

"Yes. But before I obviously had looks to spare cause we are both sexy as fuck."

"What do you believe she will do first?"

"Let's think, I would look for allies so she would go alone. I would waste a bunch of time so she would get straight to it. I would start small and work my way up, she would instantly put herself in a position of power. If I were you I would wait to see a new politician quickly rise up the ranks of the Senate. Until then, we wait. Anyone got a game we can play for a while?"

"We shall make a plan. If you are willing we would appreciate if you chose to train as a Jedi in this time."

"HAHAHAHAH fuck no!"

"Just kidding buddy I'll go train."

"It's agreed then. Your will train under Master Kitiku."

A female Zeltron*[4] stood up from her seat and bowed before walking in San's direction.

He noticed and a massive smile appeared on his face.

"Niiiice!"

_**Outside the Praxeum building**_

Metres away from San and his new Master, Bro dug away. Apparently the punishment for attempting to play football with an entirely too expensive vase was too dig a hole until they decided you had learned the error of your ways. Bro was still smiling madly so digging holes must have had some sort of entertainment value to the cheery individual. Somehow, they had managed to get almost two metres down after only a few minutes.

Over by San and Master Kitiku a few rays of sunlight beamed down through the canopy, illuminating a puddle that lay in-between the two. The mood was not as bright as it could have been unfortunately. After almost thirty minutes of attempting to make San switch out his Sith armour into something more fitting for a Jedi Padawan, the Zeltron had simply given up. She had not even attempted to make him switch his red and orange lightsaber crystals for lighter ones.

That was all behind them now. For the moment, meditation was the name of the game. As should have been obvious, San had yet to even attempt such a thing. His attention was solely on his new Master.

"I've never been with a Zeltron before. I've never even met one. I didn't even think they existed. It all just seemed too good to be true." He thought as he looked up and down the woman opposite him. Her skin was a strange, light pink which was lighter than the colour of her lips and hair. All the features of her face were soft and curvy in all the ways San liked. Much to his disappointment, however, the Jedi robes she wore completely prevented him from getting a good idea about her figure. Although it was highly unlikely that she was overweight considering her job.

"If you would like to stop staring at me, I'd appreciate it."

"You can stare back. I won't mind."

"Why would I wish to do that?"

"Have a look and find out."

"So we aren't getting anywhere with this so how about we work on something else and come back to meditation later?"

"Whatever you want."

Kitiku opened her eyes and looked San in the eyes.

"We'll do what my Master did first. Tell me about three parts of you which could be considered your biggest weaknesses."

"Obvious one, I am not exactly smart. The Sith chick got that. Second, I don't have any formal training in hitting things with lightsaber's or using the Force. I can use the Force quite well, but only in ways which I worked out while meditating and sleeping. Third would be that I get distracted by certain things in the blink of an eye. Like, if I see a hot girl I have to at least stop what I'm doing for a minute to say 'hi'."

"Well we can deal with one of those right now. The Jedi code states is: there is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. The two that you must focus on at this point are the lines about emotion and passion."

"So when I look at a woman I'm supposed to just not feel anything?"

"Nothing that could make you attached to them emotionally."

"I always knew about this rule but I never understood the reasoning behind it."

"If you have something to lose, you will eventually lose it. When that happens you will likely experience negative emotions, something which can only lead to darkness."

"Oh… I don't mean to pry but what were the three things you talked about when you were in my position?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No. Remember, I'm not too bright."

"Ah yes, well… the first was my species natural gullibility, the second was my species constant desire for pleasure and such things. The third was… uhh… I think it was something to do with my fear of using a lightsaber."

"Oh so what I heard was true. Is it also true that you guys go blue when you tan?"

"No."

"Aw that was the coolest one."

"Somehow that rumour has survived all the way from your time."

"It's just one of those things I guess. Like how they say you can flick a Republic guard on the nose and they can't do shit about it."

"I believe I speak for everyone here when I ask for you to stop using obscene words. They add nothing to the conversation and are rude. Especially if younglings are nearby."

"Two words for that suggestion: fuck that. How am I supposed to offend someone properly without calling them a cunt stain upon the arse-cheek of society?"

"That is an awful thing to call another intelligent being."

"Exactly. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't offensive."

"Can you at least avoid doing that near the young ones?"

"I suppose I have to. You are basically my boss after all."

"Please don't think about me that way. I'm mostly a teacher but you can also think of me as a sort of friend."

"Yeah another friend would be pretty great for me. I've only got Bro at the moment and he's… where is he?"

San got up and went over to the hole Bro had dug. He peeked down to find it was far down enough to be pitch-black at the bottom. Bro was not even visible from the top of the hole until they looked up, at which point the huge smile on their screen was visible.

Kitiku walked up next to San and peered down as well.

"Your friend really likes digging. That's got to be twenty metres deep and he's been digging for, what, seven minutes?"

"He's always been good at manual labour. You know he was the one who redecorated my pyramid house back on whatever planet that was."

"Do you really not know the name of the planet you lived on for that long?"

"It didn't have a name when I got there. I usually just referred to it as the galaxy's biggest mud-ball. Ziletia called it, and forced the locals to call it, Dromund Kaas II."

"Did you let her abuse the locals?"

"Whenever I saw it I would kick her really hard on the arse but she would occasionally go out and disrupt the locals when I was asleep or having coffee."

"… You put coffee over people?"

"Coffee is very important to me. Just like my aviators..."

He pulled some aviators out of his pocket and put them on.

"… because aviators are cool."

"I swear every man in the universe has a pair of those."

"We do. It's like a rule. Bro doesn't have any because he can't wear glasses."

"You know there is something I have to ask: how do you not know anything about him? Or she? Or it?"

"He never takes that armour off and it's way too bulky to find anything out. Plus he has never said a word and he won't nod or shake his head to answer questions."

"Any idea why?"

"Don't know. I once tried to pull off his helmet when he was knocked out after a tree fell on him to no avail. The armour is all welded together but, as far as I can tell, it isn't attached to him in any way."

"How does he/she eat?"

"The mouth on the screen can actually open up. Which is weird because it means the only bit of him that I have seen is his throat."

"I think it's high time we got back to training. Come on Padawan."

She stood up straight and walked away from the hole. San turned around and crossed his arms. Kitiku looked back at him then stopped walking.

"Is something wrong?"

"This 'Padawan' bullshit? Let's drop that right now or we're going to have problems. Either refer to me by name or don't say anything at all."

"I'm simply calling you by your title."

"My title is lieutenant."

"That was quite some time ago. The Republic you knew no longer exists."

"If you want I can go join whatever new Republic you lot have set up and I will earn that rank back."

"Fine. The rest of the Council is not going to like this but I guess I can just call you San."

"Yeah I should mention that's not my real name. You don't get to know my real name."

"I had sensed as much, yet I also sense that you will not tell me your true name."

"That should be obvious to everyone. When I decide I can trust you enough I'll tell you."

"How much is 'enough'?"

"You'll know when I tell you my name."

"I hope I can earn your trust quickly. We need to trust each other fully if we're going to be bringing down the Sith lady."

"Look, I may have not been completely honest earlier when I said that Ziletia would try to carry out her plans quickly. When she gets into a political position she will be incredibly patient until the perfect opportunity arises."

"Why did you say that she would attempt to rise through the political ranks quickly in the first place?"

"Because by saying that the Jedi council will be actively looking at politicians instead of waiting for something exceptionally strange to happen."

She stared at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Look this is one of the few times I have ever done something smart so just give me this. I don't care how many rules it breaks."

Kitiku sighed then motioned for San to follow her while walking away towards a nearby cave. He kicked a rock down the hole Bro dug before following his Master. After a few steps a sound rung up the hole which indicated the rock had hit its target. As San walked the rays of light coming from above disappeared one by one. The canopy was too thick to see through but it was clear to all below that it wasn't just the night coming quickly.

As if on cue, drops of rain began falling down through the leaves. Along with the water came a noise which drowned out everything else. It didn't seem to bother San much and Kitiku was already inside the cave by that point. She was joined by San just as Bro appeared out of the hole. It looked around then started running towards the cave. As soon as Bro got inside it wiped the top of its helmet then stared at its hand. A sad face appeared on its screen before it looked at San, who was already offering a piece of cloth. With a big smile Bro took it and began drying itself.

At that point Kitiku was staring inquisitively at them.

"He really doesn't like his armour being wet."

"Have you got any idea why?"

"As far as I can tell it's because there was the occasional spot of acid rain on the planet we lived on. It's just a habit."

"That is a rather inconvenient habit to have. Does it have any other habits we should know about?"

"Um… he's quite a picky person when it comes to drinks. It's pretty much water or nothing."

"Is that all of its habits?"

"Yeah. Well, those are the ones I know. Also, just to make it easy, just refer to Bro as 'him' and 'he' etc. He prefers it, don't you Bro?"

Bro showed a straight face and shrugged.

"See? He loves it."

Kitiku put her hand on San's shoulder and stared straight into his eyes.

"San, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, you clearly have no idea about anything to do with this person. If I had to guess I would say 'Bro', as you call him, has a surplus of negative emotions for you."

"That's not true, is it Bro?"

Bro scratched the back of his head while pretending to look intently at some moss on the walls of the cave. San's expression dropped drastically as his mood began to mirror that of the weather outside the cave.

"Do not despair San. I'm sure Bro would be happy to work things out with you."

A wide smile appeared on Bro's face and he nodded almost fast enough to break his own neck.

"Well what if I don't want to be friends with the guy who has hated me all this time?"

"San if we end up being the ones who go and fight the Sith lady I would quite like to have another friend there with us. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah… I guess so."

Immediately Bro threw his arms around San and lifted his right leg up backwards. San noticed and a look of confusion covered his face.

"You're a bit camp, aren't you?"

Bro let go and nodded again.

"So apart from getting out of the rain, is there any reason we are in this cave?"

"There is. See that boulder?"

San looked around until his gaze moved over a massive boulder which blocked the way to the rest of the cave. He stared at it intently for a moment before poking Bro on the arm.

"Do you have any explosives with you?"

When he turned to look at Bro, San found that Bro was already holding a hand-full of plastic explosives while pulling more out from under certain parts of his armour.

As San placed the explosives Kitiku could do nothing but imagine how much of her life would be spent attempting to train him. She quickly came to the conclusion that it would probably be, to put it simply, a long, long time.

**Finished!**

**Asterisk section:**

***Zabrak [1] : The Zabrak were a carnivorous Near-Human species native to Iridonia. They were a species known for having a fierce sense of self-determination and an equally dominant need for independence. They were mostly similar to Humans however they did have certain physical traits which set them apart from the baseline of Humanity. The most striking of these were a series of vestigial horns that crowned the heads of both males and females. If you were unfortunate enough to have seen Star Wars episode 1 Darth Maul (the red guy) was a Zabrak.**

***Praxeum [2] : The ancient Jedi scholar Karena coined the term Praxeum to describe a Jedi academy as a place for the "distillation of learning combined with action."**

***Togrutan [3] : The Togruta were a carnivorous humanoid species from the planet Shili. The species exhibited head-tails which were similar to those of Twi'leks. Togruta were also distinguished by montrals, large hollow horn-like projections from the top of their heads, that gave the species a form of passive echolocation.**

***Zeltron [4] : Zeltrons were a near-Human species, made physically distinctive by their skin and hair, which came in different shades of red ranging from pink to deep red to black. Most of them were considered highly attractive by Human, near-Human, and even some non-humanoid standards. They were also known for being extremely gullible.**

**Tell me if I missed any and I'll update the chapter.**

**Also if you want to really offend and/or compliment me just reply and put all of your hatred/love into words.**

**Cya.**


	2. Chapter 2: The rock

**Hello wonderful people!**

**Internet hug (-0_0)-**

**Now that is over I shall begin! HAHA! Brilliant.**

_**Chapter 2: The rock**_

Kitiku stared on as San and Bro rigged the explosives to the boulder while the rain behind her beat down on the ground. The tree canopy was fully saturated by that point which allowed all the rain falling from the sky to batter the ground below.

San patted Bro on the back then they both ran away from the boulder as a beeping started, quickly speeding up. They grabbed Kitiku by an arm each and dragged her out of the cave, into the downpour. As they dived to the ground the sound of a massive explosion flew out of the cave, followed by a wave of fire and smoke. The group all stood up and wiped the mud off their clothes.

A few other Jedi ran to the scene and looked at the plume of smoke billowing out of the cave.

"What happened?" One of them asked while turning to look at Kitiku.

"My Padawan here decided that instead of moving the boulder the normal way, he would get help from his friend to set up explosives on it and this is the result."

All the Jedi who had rushed over stared at Zoh with concern and confusion.

"Bah! What do you guys know anyway?" He retorted while turning and flicking his hand at them. A wave of force flew out of his hand and obliterated the cave entrance, sending giant rocks of rubble flying in all directions. When the dust was settled nothing was left of the cave but chunks of rock and dirt. All of the Jedi were astounded, San included.

"What the hell did I just do?"

"I think you just displayed your Force potential." Kitiku replied.

A shroud of silence and motionlessness descended over the group of people until Bro threw his arms up in the air and jumped in joy as a massive smile appeared on his screen. The rest of the Jedi who had run over after the explosion slowly dissipated, deciding it would be better to leave Kitiku to work with her Padawan. Even the rain began to die away.

"So it appears you have more potential in the Force than was previously believed. Yet, even now, I cannot sense any considerable Force potential in you at all."

"One of the things I taught myself early on was how to hide myself from you lot and the Sith. Last thing I needed was someone knocking down my door and deciding to help Ziletia kill me. Of course, when I forgot to keep up that someone does come to visit, thankfully it was you guys."

"Speaking of which, how come your Sith friend didn't try to deceive the Jedi sent to investigate you?"

"She is not that kind of Sith. The thing about Ziletia is, she can't bring herself to attempt to hide from Jedi when they are right in front of her. Her rage boils over around people of the Light side apart from me. I couldn't tell you why but I like to put it down to my manly charms."

"You know, after Luke Skywalker reformed the Jedi order he made it a point to not bring back the old rule which stated we should not love anything. However, it's generally accepted to be a bad idea for most people. You are not one of those people from what I can tell. How many times have you used your 'manly charms' to take advantage of women then just forgot about them?"

"At least eighty times. Although two of those was the same girl a few years later. I didn't recognise her until I was being chased out of the house by her dad the next morning."

"Eighty… I don't think the order has had someone like you in hundreds of years, maybe thousands."

"Hell yes! I'm still young, well… physically anyway, so I expect that number to rise massively before I die. Might even add you to that number if you play your cards right."

Kitiku scoffed at San then wandered off, further from the Praxeum building. San looked at Bro who shrugged. They both then followed Kitiku until the group reached a massive crater at least twenty metres deep and fifty across in all directions. In the centre was a meteor the size of young Rancor*[1] which appeared to have been there for many years. Kitiku stepped down into the crater without a moment of thought. San and Bro were considerably more cautious around the relatively steep sides of the crater. Eventually Bro shoved San in then jumped in himself.

They tumbled down the side for a few seconds before halting at Kitiku's feet. San got up, followed by Bro who smiled at him.

"I want to be mad at you but that was fun." He joked while smiling back.

"So then, why are we in a crater next to a meteor?"

"It's simple really. No-one has been able to move this meteor since we discovered it. I know for a fact that you can. So, give it a try. And this time, no explosives."

"Kay."

He got into a stance which would keep his balance then put his hands up towards the meteor. After a few seconds of attempting to push it with the Force he gave up then ran at it and jump-kicked the rock. Nothing worked so he pulled out his yellow lightsaber and began whacking the rock with it to no avail.

San put the lightsaber back on his belt then turned his head to look at Kitiku and Bro. It was clear that if Bro could make noises he would be giggling uncontrollably.

"This is impossible. What's the point of my Force if I can't move a rock? What's the point of my lightsaber's if someone could just make armour out of this shit and be invulnerable to it?"

"San, to use the Force one must have the right state of mind. If you don't believe that you can throw this rock around with a click of your fingers, you won't be able to move it."

"So you're saying that if I go 'fuck it, I'm a badass. I can move this pussy-ass rock if I want to!" I will be able to move the rock?"

"No. You simply have to know your capabilities but not go so far as to feel that you are better than others because of natural capability."

"Don't worry on that front. Ziletia got the overly-self-confident bit. I'm not confident enough most of the time. Except when it comes to talking with ladies. Then I take suaveness to the nth degree."

The Zeltron and the man in Imperial armour both sighed then face-palmed in perfect synchrony.

"Hey, the numbers don't lie. Eighty." San pointed out with emphasis on the word 'eighty'.

Kitiku removed her head from her hands then shook it at San.

"I knew this was going to be difficult when they gave me a thirty year old Padawan. I had no idea it would be this difficult."

"It's only been a day."

"Yes but you need to be ready to face Ziletia when the time comes and that could very well be tomorrow."

"Look, it's like we're building a house but we already have tons of bricks and cement. We just gotta throw it all together and hope it looks good. Which it will, because the house is me."

"I appreciate the argument but the statement at the end was unnecessary."

"You know it's true."

"Follow me."

She walked up the side of the crater back toward the Praxeum. Bro followed, as did San after giving the rock one final kick. They got to the other side of the hill which contained the now-destroyed cave.

Kitiku walked around and placed down a bunch of rocks in a line which grew in size from left to right from the size of a pebble to a man-sized boulder. San and Bro were both surprised at her ability to lift the larger rocks with her bare hands.

"Okay San. I want you to lift these rocks up, one by one, using the Force. Taking breaks in-between. Smallest to largest."

San nodded then did as asked. One by one the rocks went up, then down again. When he was done San began to pick up a few at the same time and juggle them with the Force. As he did that Kitiku placed another rock about the size of her fist on the ground in a patch without grass.

"Now try picking that one up."

He stopped juggling and put down the rocks before picking up the other rock without a second thought.

"Notice anything strange with this one?"

"No."

"You should. It is about twice as heavy as all these other ones combined."

"Oh. Why?"

"Why does not matter. The truth of the situation is, you don't believe in your own ability. Every Padawan that comes here has the same amount of potential in the Force, except you. You have had thousands of years to attune and build your power. I can only guess how much you achieved in that time."

"I spent most of it thinking up things I might be able to do, then working out how to do it. I got most of it down but I have no idea how to do the 'Force shield' thing."

"That is one of the worst things to not know when being pitched against a Sith. How did you fight her all those centuries ago?"

"Everything she had I could defend against with my lightsaber's or something nearby which I could put in the way. Like when she threw a house at me I brought down a larger house in front of it to take the blow."

"She threw a house?"

"It was only like, two stories. Nothing impressive."

"Did the house have people inside?"

"Yep. There was nothing I could do to help them unfortunately. I mean, I can't stop a house flying at me at fifty miles an hour."

"The cruelty of the Sith never fails to amaze me."

"Oh trust me she's a real bitch to innocent people. She's dull as well! I suggested that we could get drunk one night when we both woke up at the same time and she just zapped me then left! I try to be nice and she shocks me! I'll probably try it again though."

"For all your faults, you still think similarly to a Jedi. I can respect that."

San smiled then dropped the rock and looked around for Bro. When his eyes fell on the Imperial soldier he was greeted by the sight of Bro about to strike a Jedi who was looking the other way with a log twice his size. Bro noticed San and Kitiku's stares and froze solid with the log suspended above his head. The Jedi turned around, having sensed the danger, and Force pushed Bro a few metres back. The Imperial fell flat on his back, still clutching the log.

"Did you get bored Bro?"

He nodded then let go of the log and got up.

For some reason an advert for dining utensils appeared on his monitor, describing in excruciating detail every function of the various tools. He gave his helmet a smack and it showed up an Imperial symbol and the words '501st Legion' then reverted to his normal smile.

"501st Legion? That. Sounds. Awesome."

"San the 501st Legion was a part of the Imperial army and was feared across the galaxy for their effectiveness and ruthlessness."

"I was right. That is awesome."

Kitiku once again found her face in her palm.

"Hey you can't face-palm that I'm so old I didn't even know we had a 1st legion!"

"I don't pretend to know how you have lived so long but, as a note, I fully expect you to read up on at least the basic historical facts since your time."

"How much stuff has happened?"

"A lot. It's been almost 4000 years remember."

"Wanna know the worst part of this? I can't even guess what happened then say I read about it. Last time I checked, we were kicking the Empires arse in."

"It's… complicated. You can read about it tonight. I doubt you will miss the sleep that much."

"Fine whatever. Bro you can help me. You've only been living with me for, what, two hundred years? You should know something. Right?"

Bro considered it for a moment then clicked his fingers and pulled out a book from under a plate of armour which stated on the front 'Galactic History for People from Almost Four Thousand Years Ago'.

"That is an oddly specific book for you to have."

He turned it to show the back which read 'Imperial Standard Issue' while he walked up to San.

"Strange. Nice though, good job Bro."

San put up his hand for a high-five but was surprised when Bro hugged him instead.

"Okay so you're a hugger not a high-fiver."

Bro let go then put the book back where he got it.

Kitiku had been watching the entire thing with extreme interest and came to a few conclusions quickly.

"I believe I have discovered something about your friend that you do not know. All I will say now is: Bro, if you ever want to have a chat or need someone to help you think things through just ask me. Okay?"

Bro showed a smile and nodded.

San appeared incredibly confused for a moment then his face lit up as if he had just had a brain-wave.

"Oh! I get it! This is like those times when you get drunk with a girl then invite her to your house for 'coffee'. Just keep it quiet please."

Bro face-palmed then pushed San over with ease, hitting the floor with a smack.

"There was a rock!" He whimpered while cradling his face.

"Aww did Bro hurt your pretty little face?"

"Yeah! Also I'm handsome, not pretty!"

"Get up San. We're going to do some other things."

San managed to push himself up off the ground to his knees.

"Can we just, give it a minute? Just one? I don't think my jaw is in the right place."

"One. Sort it out then I have a surprise for you."

"Ooh I'm all giddy now." He stated sarcastically right before Bro grabbed his head and punched his jaw back into place with a satisfying click.

"Oh my fucking fuck!"

Bro let go of San's head then gave it a pat. San's was contorted in pain and he was struggling not to cry out. He held his jaw with both hands and writhed on the floor.

Kitiku and Bro waited to the side as San very, very slowly came back to his senses. The Jedi Master sat down to meditate, having come to the realisation that it was going to take more than a single minute for San to stop whining. Bro exhibited far less patience.

He paced from side to side, kicking things on the ground as he went. After a moment he pulled a gun out from under the armour piece on his lower right leg. At least twenty seconds were spent making sure it was ready to fire before Kitiku noticed it's presence through her closed eyes.

"Once again you show just how inept our Republic soldiers are at removing people's weapons. The Jedi guardsmen appear to be no better." She asserted without moving a muscle save for her lips.

Suddenly San was on his feet and smiling brilliantly.

"I'm alright! Everyone can stop worrying now. Especially you my lovely pink Master."

Immediately after his surprise recovery San was short on the chest by Bro. The blast hit his armour and fizzled out.

"So I suppose you would prefer I call you my Master instead."

Bro nodded and put the gun back behind his armour.

"Yeah that's not going to happen. Don't fight me on this; I have both my lightsaber's."

A metre or so away Kitiku opened her eyes and got up from the ground.

"Speaking of which, I have a suggestion for you."

"Forgive me if I don't take advice from a Jedi when it comes to lightsaber's. Blue bastards."

"It isn't about that. All I think you should do is change one of your lightsaber's to a Shoto*[2]. To put it simply, a shorter blade. It allows for more techniques than what you currently have."

"I tried that once. Didn't like it. Now then, what was the surprise you were talking about?"

"To test your skills I have entered you into a friendly Training Saber*[3] competition."

A devious smile crossed San's face as Kitiku spoke.

"This is going to be fun…"

_**Praxeum Outdoor Arena**_

San watched on from the stands which surrounded a small, circular area which would be hosting the competition. The rest of the seats around him were beginning to fill with spectators eager to see who among them the best fighter was. San could tell just by looking at some of them how they intended to win. Most had the build of duellists who would rely on their lightsaber skills to get them through. Others were better built for using the Force with their weapons to achieve victory. None appeared to have tactics similar to what he was going to use.

Minutes later the stands were completely full and the first two fighters walked into the middle. San barely stopped himself from bursting out in laughter when he noticed that one of them was a huge Padawan with muscles the size of the other ones entire body. The little Padawan didn't seem fazed in the slightest by the obvious physical advantage. They both bowed and pulled out their Training Saber's and the fighting began.

Instantly the larger one ran at the smaller one with weapon raised. From that moment the pace of the fight was set. The larger Padawan would charge at the other and attempt to overpower them with powerful strikes. Every time he did so, the smaller one would dodge out of the way with ease.

After who-knows how long the larger one started to tire and the smaller Padawan went on the offensive with a flurry of quick strikes. He quickly managed to overwhelm the larger one and land the final strike which signalled the end of the fight.

They both took a step away from each other and put their weapons away. After a bow they both left, with a Jedi Master walking out and announcing the victor. He then declared the next match.

"The next match will be between Padawan San and Padawan Jei."

Kitiku patted San on the back, prompting him to stand up and put his lightsaber's on his part of the bench. He made his way down into the arena just in time to get a good look at his competition. His new worst enemy was an average Human female, though he could barely tell if it was a man or a woman.

The Jedi announcer walked out and the other Padawan bowed. San followed suit reluctantly then pulled out his Training Saber. His opponent walked closer to San but he didn't react in the slightest even when his enemy pulled out her weapon. She got within a few metres of him before he suddenly threw his weapon right at her forehead before jumping forward and round-house kicking her in the face.

She fell to the ground, unconscious. San bowed above her then picked up his Training Saber and strolled back to his seat. Some Republic soldiers walked in and pulled the Padawan away as San sat down next to Kitiku. She looked at him with surprise.

"You were correct it seems."

"About what?"

"This IS going to be fun."

The matches went by one-by-one, Padawan's and Master's alike getting knocked out. Every time San was called up an air of dread descended upon the crowd. Everything there knew that whoever was going against him would end up getting pulled out by the Republic guards. Kitiku's fights were far more civil but just as one-sided. She showed time and time again that no-one could match her when it came to mixing Force and Lightsaber attacks. Sometimes she received warning for using Force attacks nearly more powerful than the rules allowed.

Eventually the time came when San and Kitiku where the only ones left. Their names were called and they both descended to the arena, San walking to the other side. They both bowed, that being the only time San actually put any effort into it. As San brought his head back up the sense of excitement in the stands was palpable. They both slowly pulled out their weapons just as San shot his Master a smile.

Instead of instantly diving into battle the two circled around the arena, eyeing each other up for any visible weaknesses. Neither found anything worthy of note so they simultaneously stopped circling and stepped cautiously towards each other. Inch by inch they got closer until their blades were crossed in an 'X' shape.

In the blink of an eye they were smashing blades and diving from side to side. Any advantage San would get from his physical strikes was countered by Kitiku's Force strikes. None of their Saber attacks could break the other's defence, though that could be put down to the fact that none of the attacks from either side could be attributed to any of the Lightsaber Forms*[4]. They were all just basic swings of their weapons.

San started to get ahead at one point, his preference for mostly random strikes putting Kitiku off balance. Unfortunately for him, the Jedi Master knew exactly what she was doing. The very moment he swung his Training Saber slightly off the right angle she turned it on him and pushed his weapon back at him. It hit San on the knee and just like that the match was over. They put their Saber's away and bowed. A round of applause rang out from the crowd.

San returned to his seat as the Jedi announcer walked out to declare Kitiku the victor.

"Once again, the winner of our little friendly tournament is Master Kitiku. This is her fifth victory this year people. How about another round of applause before we disperse?"

The crowd clapped again then started to stream out the arena exits. San remained seated as everyone else left until just him, Bro and Kitiku were left. The Jedi walked up to her apprentice and sat down next to him.

"So don't you suppose it would have been a good idea to tell me that you are a really good duellist?"

"It didn't feel important. Plus that was only with Training Saber's. You might be able to outmatch me with real lightsaber's."

"Let's hope we don't find a reason to put that to the test."

"Indeed. Now if you wouldn't mind I would like to go do something constructive with my time." She announced while getting up and beginning on her way towards the main Praxeum building.

"I haven't done this much in one day since I took a small island for the Republic!" San groaned while picking up his lightsaber's and jogging after his Master, with Bro following right after.

"So uhh… what ARE we going to do my good Lady?"

"We're going to get dinner."

"What are we doing after that?"

"Then I shall teach you the in-depth philosophies of the Jedi, after that the day will be concluded with confidence and team-building exercises."

"HA, HA, HA FUNNY! Oh you're serious."

**I ain't got it in me to write about team-building exercises so this ends now. 'Hey Tom just drop backwards and I'll catch you!' 'Kay. If you're sure' *SMACK* 'Oh sorry I meant drop in a few minutes. I'm going to go get a drink.'**

… **Yeah I have bad memories with that stuff.**

**Asterisk section:**

**Rancor*[1] : "Rancors were large carnivorous reptomammals native to the planet of Dathomir. They were usually born brown, but in special circumstances, such as the mutant Rancor, jungle Rancor, and the bull Rancor, their colour may have differed."**

**In other words, remember in Episode 6 where Jabba drops Luke into the pit with that big thing? That massive thing is a Rancor.**

**Lightsaber Shoto*[2] : "The lightsaber Shoto, commonly referred to as simply Shoto's, but also known as short Lightsaber's or lightdaggers, were essentially miniaturized lightsaber's, whose purpose was primarily to serve as an off-hand weapon for those duellists seeking to employ the twin-bladed technique of Jar'Kai, but were also utilized by those Jedi and Sith whose diminutive stature made wielding full sized Lightsaber's impractical, or, in some cases, impossible."**

**Training Saber*[3] : Like a Lightsaber but instead of a laser-blade it has a piece of electrified metal. Go play Star Wars: The Old Republic and make a Jedi or Sith then you'll see. I think it's called a Sith Training Saber on Wookieepedia so go check that if you want.**

**Lightsaber Forms*[4] :**

**Form 1: Shii-Cho – Developed around the time that Lightsaber's began to replace traditional metal swords, it focuses on the basic movements needed for combat with Lightsaber's. It relies on the user's ability to move with the flow of combat, meaning it is useful against large groups of enemies but in Lightsaber-on-Lightsaber combat it is utterly terrible.**

**Form 2: Makashi – Created as combat between two opponents wielding Lightsaber's became more common, Makashi focuses on precise attacks and requires the user to NOT allow themselves to be disarmed at all costs. Bad against large groups but near-unbeatable in single combat.**

**Form 3: Soresu – Created to combat the rising popularity of Blaster's as offensive weapons, Soresu included tight movement and precise blade-work to provide the user with the maximum defensive capability. It had little to no offensive uses but worked perfectly as a defensive tool in almost all situations. Most practitioners of this Form also learned another form such as Makashi to provide themselves with a way of going on the offense when the time was right.**

**Form 4: Ataru – This form has no definite date of creation, though it was likely just before the Mandalorian War. It is usually the most acrobatic of all the Forms, including a lot of Force-augmented acrobatics in the midst of a fight. It also included a lot of fast, strong strikes. This Form was weakest in long engagements and in confined spaces or against multiple enemies. It's main weaknesses being the speed at which practitioners tire from the acrobatics and the requirement of space to manoeuvre.**

**Form 5: Shien / Djem So – Shien focuses on reflecting blaster bolts back at their origin and engaging blaster-users; whereas Djem So focuses on defending against Lightsaber attacks before reacting with immediate and powerful strikes. Both were created by Soresu users who felt that the length of duels which included a Soresu user was a hindrance.**

**Form 6: Niman – A mix of all the other Forms, Niman took parts from every other Form to create a very generalised Form which had no inherent strengths or weaknesses. It was easy to learn and was mostly practiced by Jedi who preferred to spend their time in study or diplomacy. However, in the hands of a true master it could be truly deadly.**

**Form 7: Juyo / Vaapad – By far the most aggressive of all the Forms, Juyo was best known for the users having to have incredible focus in the midst of battle. It was restricted for most of its existence in the Jedi Order as its ability to turn users to the Dark Side was dangerous. Eventually an adaptation was made by the Jedi Master Mace Windu, named Vaapad. This variation required the user to channel their own inner darkness and use their opponent's anger against them. It also helped if the user enjoyed the battle. This variation was essentially the best Form possible when it came to fighting other Lightsaber users as it had no weaknesses save for its ability to turn users to the Dark side. It was at its best when used against Sith who are consumed by rage as their own anger works against them, making them more angry and giving the Vaapad user a bigger advantage.**

**OH WELL. FUCK IT. BYE.**


	3. Chapter 3: Intercepted

**Hello. Nerds.**

**I'm kidding of course. Unless you are actually nerds! DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUN!**

**Does anyone else think that geek is a terrible word? It just feels wrong to say it. Like 'moist'. It doesn't roll of the tongue properly… how did I get onto this subject?**

**I'm going to stop rambling before it turns into something stupid.**

**Actually before I start the chapter can I just say that Star Wars: The Old Republic is such an incredibly hit and miss game when it comes to the different stories? I did the Jedi Knight campaign first and that was so much fun. Once that was done I started up a Sith Sorcerer, a Trooper, a Sith Warrior, a Smuggler and a Bounty Hunter. The two Sith campaigns are good so far but the Bounty Hunter and the Trooper stories are a real drag.**

**At the moment if I don't feel like playing a Sith Sorcerer or Smuggler I either don't bother with anything and play League of Legends or I play my Jedi Knight despite being lvl 55 with him. He's still the most fun though. The play-style suits me very well.**

**Anyway, enough meaningless chatter. I'll write something relevant now.**

_**Chapter 3: Intercepted**_

After just over two weeks of training, San was starting to injure people less in their duels. Not because he was getting worse, but because Kitiku was slowly getting him out of the habit of doing whatever was necessary to win quickly. Of course, he was still winning very quickly due to his vast experience compared to the other Padawans and even some of the Masters.

The amount of progress on his aptitude with the Force was far less dramatic. One moment he would struggle to lift a large rock, then others he would flick a tree over on accident. Kitiku gave him advice while Bro simply attempted to be enthusiastic without saying a word. Although that was only when Bro was not going out of his way to ruin San's concentration.

It was just coming up to mid-day and the trio were sitting around outside the entrance to the Praxeum when one of the other Jedi walked out and cleared his throat to get their attention.

"We think we may have found a lead on your Sith friend. Follow me to the briefing room."

The three of them got up before walking behind the Jedi into the Praxeum. They went down hallways and corridors and rooms until the group reached a large room with a holo-display in the centre, displaying the image of a world only San did not recognise. Around it were two other Jedi, staring and pointing.

They noticed their new company immediately and turned to them, giving polite bows.

"Welcome friends. As you know, we have had a breakthrough in the Sith situation. According to a relatively reliable source she is on Nar Shaddaa*[1]. We were hoping you could enlighten us as to why."

San approached the projection with a quizzical look on his face.

"What's Nar Shaddaa?"

"It is a heavily-populated, city-covered moon ruled by criminals and delinquents."

"Well I've never heard of it by that name but I remember someone describing something similar to that. We ended up calling it 'Shit-Shore-Leave' if I remember correctly. If I had to guess, Ziletia is there to get some man-power so that she can bully her way to power on a nicer, more legitimate planet."

"So what you are saying is that she wishes to purchase mercenaries so that she can rig an election?"

"To be honest 'purchase' is the wrong word. People will get hurt before she lowers herself to that. And, I think we all know what her definition of 'hurt' is."

"Either way, people will get hurt. We must act to prevent as much suffering as possible. That's why we are sending you three to Nar Shaddaa to apprehend the Sith before she is capable of causing damage."

"What part of Nar Shaddaa is she on?" San asked while stepping forward to take a better look at the hologram.

"The details have been stored on the ship which you will be using to get there. All the information you require will be there. If you would depart as quickly as possible it would be appreciated. Time is of the essence, of course."

San waved at the two Jedi while Kitiku bowed and Bro saluted before they all left, back the way they came. The moment the group got through the door of the Praxeum San and bro jumped and punched the air in excitement.

"Woo! We're getting off this planet!"

Their Jedi companion looked between them with an eyebrow raised.

"I take it you do not like this planet too much."

"You kidding me? It rains every other day and no-one has a sense of humour. Plus, there is no range for Bro to fire his weapons."

Bro nodded as they walked along. Kitiku didn't appear to care much for her friend's grievances. Her mind was taken by thoughts of how they would avoid attention, given the group's 'unique' aesthetic. Given that neither San nor Bro would change their choices of armours. Kitiku's own appearance would present a problem but that was something she could solve with some effort.

The time for contemplation was ended when they reached the landing pads. Of the fifteen or so spaceships there, only one had the entrance-ramp down with two Republic soldiers either side of it. Kitiku and Bro walked right past the soldiers, who marched away seconds later after saluting, but San stood around the bottom of the ramp for a moment. The reason for his delay was a female, Human Jedi who looked about nineteen years old, who approached San.

"You going somewhere?"

"I would love to say no and go for another round with you but, unfortunately, I have to go hunt a Sith."

"Whatever you do, get back here soon. I need a bit more stress relief."

"How about I give you something to tide you over until I get back?"

"I like the sound of that…"

San put his hands on her hips and was about to go in for a kiss when Kitiku tapped him on the shoulder.

"So, how and when did this begin?"

He spun around and put on his best smile.

"What are you talking about? We were just… whispering to each other. Or something like that."

"Whispering to each other? Is that something people did thousands of years ago?"

"We… ugh… yeah… certainly… Balls to it!" San declared before flinging himself around and kissing the other Padawan. He pulled away and bowed his head while walking backwards up the ramp.

Kitiku face-palmed then followed him up the ramp as the female Padawan swayed around in a daze. It was apparent that, even after many thousands of years, he hadn't forgotten how to do that to a woman. The Jedi Master began walking up the ramp as it closed. She got inside the ship and went straight to the cockpit. Bro was sitting in the furthest right of the chairs, San seated just next to him. Bro was attempting to make the freighter do something, to no avail. His friend had his face mere inches from the main controls. San appeared to be trying to work out how the equipment worked but it was clear that the technology was far beyond his comprehension.

Before Kitiku could do a single thing San pressed a button. From the entrance to the cockpit Kitiku could not see what it was, not that it took long for her to realise when the star-ship's engines were pushing them rapidly from the ground. Noticing his error San attempted to rectify the situation by pressing more buttons. That went about as well as it could realistically have been expected to.

The ship rocked back and forth, sending Kitiku tumbling over and Bro out of his chair. Beeping blared out through the ship, though it was barely perceptible through the questions coming from the radio and San's constant stream of profanity. One particularly violent shift in angle sent San onto the console. The hyper-drive charged up and blasted them away from the planet. It was clear they hit something, probably a tree, when they launched as a few seconds later the ship ground to a halt.

The ship stabilised in deep space, allowing Kitiku and Bro to get up as San pushed himself off the controls console. They all coughed and sputtered, felling pains all over.

"Is everyone alright?" Kitiku questioned, receiving only nods and thumbs up from her companions.

San straightened himself out then pushed, pulled and twisted his armour and robe to get it all back in order before turning himself around to look out the window. Much to his surprise, Nar Shaddaa was looking right back at him. It was quite far but they could probably get there in an hour or so without jumping to hyper-space.

"Damn I am good! Even when I don't try to take us to the right place, I take us to the right place!"

"The computer was already set to take us to Nar Shaddaa. All you did was press the button."

"Oh, brilliant! Everything works out for me! The best of all people!"

"I have discovered a problem with that theory. See that flashing light? It means our engines are not even close to being in working order."

"Ah. I suppose there is no chance of us going outside and fixing them."

"Though I think that would be a very entertaining experience, we do not have the equipment. We can send a distress signal then the Nar Shaddaa authorities will send a rescue team."

"How long will that take?"

"A few hours."

Bro flung his arms up from irritation then fell over forward. He landed face-first on the ground then went to sleep.

"That's not a bad idea." San noted while pointing at the Imperial.

Kitiku walked to the controls and pressed a button. A light turned on under the words 'Distress beacon'. She then strolled out the room without as much as a sideways glance to her Padawan.

"Where are you going?"

"I shall find somewhere to read in peace. It would be an enlightened decision if you did the same."

"Reading?" San asked sarcastically before making a rude hand gesture in the direction Kitiku went and mouthed the words 'fuck off'.

He jumped onto the same chair he had sat in earlier and began spinning it around in circles.

A few minutes later he was still spinning but something came into view out of the window which made him stop. San got up from his chair and stared intently out the window at an approaching ship. He was scared shitless when a beeping came from the holo-communicator. He pressed a button on it hesitantly, making the image of a person to appear. The man looked quite rugged and anything but official. Probably not the rescue party.

"Hello citizen of the Republic. You don't look very young so I assume you know what is happening by now, so just let us confiscate your valuables and no-one will get hurt."

"Did you just say I don't look young? Rude dude."

"Oh no, did I offend you?"

"Well, slightly."

"Fun fact, I don't care."

"Oh man you are nothing but a rude dude! This could have been so nice for everyone."

"Generally having everything you own is not very nice. Anyway, you will realise that soon."

The hologram faded, leaving an offended San to sit back in his seat. He wore the anger on his face, not even attempting to hide it when Kitiku walked in.

"San, why is there a ship boarding us?"

"Pirates or something."

"This presents us with a unique opportunity."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You shall soon see. Try not to do anything rash until I say so."

The ship was suddenly shoved sideways and the airlock opened. Pirates flooded in, pointing their many guns at the three occupants. Out of the group the one that San had talked to before pushed to the front. Not caring much for the possible consequences, San picked up a random piece of technology. It was just about sturdy and heavy enough so he chucked it at full strength towards the pirate. The satisfying clunk of it hitting the pirate square in the face brought massive joy to San. Seconds later another glorious noise echoed through the room as the man fell to the floor.

"Ahh you fuck!"

"Ahahahaha! I am so good at that!"

The pirate got up and started pointing his guns at San when he was hit once again by something hard, this time threw by Bro.

San and Bro burst out in laughter at the pirate's misfortune. One of the pirates at the door appeared to be getting aggravated.

"I'm going to just shoot these guys then we can just take all the cargo!"

"You do not want to shoot us." Kitiku declared while waving her hand at the man.

"I do not want to shoot you." He announced before putting his weapon in its holster and making his way back to their ship.

"Oh shit guys we just ran into Jedi, didn't we?"

"Well… she's a Jedi. I'm the most fantastic thing in the universe and Bro there is a crazy Imperial who loves guns. So uh… fuck off." San advised, flashing a smile at the end. To reinforce his point he drew both lightsaber's and ignited them.

"Wait." Kitiku proclaimed.

"You will repair the damage to our ship then turn yourselves in to the authorities for your past crimes."

"We shall repair this ship then go turn ourselves in."

They all shuffled out of the ship as San put his weapons away.

"You can go back to sleep now Bro."

The man on the floor put on a smile then fell back to sleep.

"You do realise that we have beds in the room opposite this one, right?"

Bro gave no reply, being in deep sleep already.

"It's been weeks. By now you should realise that Bro gives no fucks for anything."

"Surely it would be-"

"Listen, Kitiku, this guy has CHOSEN to wear the same armour for literally hundreds of years and has consistently fallen asleep in places that most people would not even consider hospitable to life. He has either gotten to a point where physical discomfort means nothing, or he is really comfortable in that armour."

"That is fair I suppose."

Kitiku took a seat next to San.

"You know Master, we haven't really talked much. Like, at all really."

"What do you mean? We have had many conversations since we met."

"Those don't count. Most of them were either small talk or you teaching me something. We should have an actual chat. So, tell me, what are your interests?"

"Hmm… I enjoy reading, meditating, training and helping others."

"I share the first three but get no joy from helping people."

"I'm surprised you like those that you do."

"Everyone can enjoy reading if what they are readings isn't shit, if I didn't like meditating I wouldn't have done it for thousands of years and if I didn't have fun training I would be terrible at fighting."

"Keep going then. I've told you my interests but you haven't told me all yours."

"I'll just go ahead and skip all the dirty stuff… I really like coffee. It's just great. Uhh... oh yeah I really like hurting people I dislike. Also playful flirting with people is quite entertaining."

"I feel like it will take some time for you to become a Jedi Knight."

"Who says I want to be a Knight? What if I choose to become a Jedi historian or something?"

"If that is what you choose I shall not question it. However I somehow doubt it."

"Yeah you're right I am going to go around kicking faces in the name of the Republic."

"As I said, a while before any of that."

The two talked away for a long while as the pirates fixed their ship. Kitiku couldn't help but think that he was feigning interest to get on her good side, but eventually it became apparent he genuinely was interested. Either that or he was faking very well.

It didn't really mind Kitiku much, however. She was happy to talk to her Padawan on a personal level and, as much as she did not like to admit it, he was a charming person. His over-confidence and deep love of himself was so over the top it came across as entertaining more than anything. Kitiku didn't really take it seriously when he stated that he was "better than everyone on that planet and more handsome than everyone else in the universe combined". Every part of her training told the Jedi to point out that he should not say such things but it didn't really seem to make a difference when she did. As long as it was all in good fun there was no point putting an end to it.

After a while one of the pirates came into the room.

"We've fixed your ship. Have a safe journey."

He left and the airlock slammed shut behind him.

"Alright then, I think we can do a tiny jump to Nar Shaddaa and begin the search." San declared while giving Bro a kick to wake him up.

"We shall watch the briefing when we are above it."

"Ooh I can't wait."

Bro sat down next to them just before they did I tiny hyperspace jump which landed them directly above the Nar Shaddaa. The entire surface of the planet was covered in a vast city which lit up everything.

"Damn. That is a planet and a half."

"Actually, it's just a moon."

"Suddenly moons are a lot cooler in my mind."

"Come on. Let's watch the brief."

"I hope she picked someone fun to cause chaos…" San whispered to Bro who nodded.

**And next chapter the action begins! For now, you get bugger all.**

**HYPER ASTERISK SECTION OF UBERNESS:**

**Nar Shaddaa*[1] : "Nar Shaddaa was the largest moon of Nal Hutta. More commonly known as the Vertical City, the Smuggler's Moon and Little Coruscant, Nar Shaddaa was similar to Coruscant in that its surface was entirely overgrown with city sprawl for millennia. But unlike Coruscant—which was only relatively rundown and dangerous on the lower and under levels of the world city—Nar Shaddaa was filthy, polluted, and infested with crime everywhere."**

**I ain't got nothing to put here so, bye.**

**Cya in a fortnight.**


	4. Chapter 4: First contact

**Hello everyone! How are you all doing? Fantastic? Terrifyingly terrible? Either way, I hope it gets better for you!**

**I haven't got bugger all to say so I'll save you lot the rambling.**

_**Chapter 4: First contact**_

* * *

_**The surface of Nar Shaddaa**_

When the mix-matched team first landed in the Nar Shaddaa spaceport where Ziletia supposedly landed, their hopes of a quick search were not high. It was not like they made it obvious though. Bro retained his normal happy disposition, Kitiku would not let herself feel genuinely negative about anything and San was too busy admiring himself.

The very moment the trio exited the spaceport their senses were barraged by, what felt like, every kind of disgusting thing in existence. The air was thick with the stench of dead meat and unwashed aliens of all shapes and sizes, though not many of them were on the streets as it was quite late. To make the situation worse, none of them could take a step without standing in something disgusting. The walls and floors were nearly all the same metallic brown, giving a sense of overwhelming drabness. Of the little colour that did decorate the surroundings, nearly all of it came from the holograms spread around. Even the trees were just holograms, leaving the place nearly void of all plant-matter. The final thing which immediately made the place feel unfriendly was the constant stream of gasses coming from vents placed all over the place. It was impossible to tell what was coming out, but none of the three really wanted to know.

Their misconceptions of the difficult search which lay ahead were made evident when, as they walked through a street in an industrial sector, the group came across something which immediately caught San's attention. It was a warehouse door guarded by two mercenaries about 20 metres from where they were at the time.

"Hold up guys. I'm going to go have a chat with those lovely gentlemen."

He jogged ahead of his companions as they stopped and stared on with intrigue until he got close to the closer of the two guards, who just so happened to be a woman Twi'lek with an incredibly rare red skin tone.

"Hello wonderful people! I see you're guarding a warehouse which means your boss sucks ass."

"Buddy, if you aren't here to do business or to join up I suggest you leave before I start hurting you."

"How about we go around the corner and then you can beat me all you want."

"I'm going to enjoy this…"

"So am I if all goes well."

San led the Twi'lek down an empty alley, taking a few hits to the back from the alien's gun as he went.

As they disappeared down the alley Bro took a seat on a nearby bench, despite the overall unsanitary look of it.

"Expecting a wait are you?"

Bro looked back with an eyebrow raised.

"I suppose he's told you all sorts of stories about this stuff."

Bro nodded while patting the part of the bench next to him. After a moment of hesitation Kitiku sat down and got comfortable.

"I should really go stop San and give him a lecture but by now I imagine it's already something I don't want to see down that alley." Kitiku sighed while staring towards the other warehouse guard who didn't seem to care that his compatriot had left.

The Imperial tapped Kitiku to get her attention then shook his head before making hand motions which loosely translated to 'not now, he'll do that later'.

"So I should expect him to ask for some time off while we are on this planet then."

Bro nodded and gave a thumbs-up.

"It does feel rather unlucky for me that a few weeks after I get the title of Jedi Master they give me the single most strange and difficult Padawan in the entire Jedi Order. San would probably be the most dark-side-susceptible Padawan in the entire galaxy if he wasn't so positive."

"Eh, it's best if I do not dwell on it. On another topic, if you don't mind me asking anyway, why do you choose not to talk?"

Bro twisted his body and pointed to a faded symbol on his left arm armour. Kitiku squinted to read the inscription above the '501st Legion' symbol which read 'honour'.

"You do this all for honour?"

Her friend nodded once again then straightened his body up.

"Hmm… well, don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not dedicated."

A few minutes later San and his new female friend emerged from the alley, both looking considerably scruffier than they had when they entered. The Padawan strutted back to his companions, a look of nothing but self-satisfaction on his face. He got within a few metres of the other two when his face quickly straightened up and his style of walking turned far more casual.

"Uh… Master. Buddy. Friend. Would you mind if I maybe took a few hours off later?"

"What ever would you want that for?"

"I was just going to go over to my friend over there's house and… have coffee…"

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. You know me. Can't get enough of my coffee."

"I'll allow it so long as we are still on the planet and in no hurry."

San fist-pumped then joined his Master and best friend on the bench.

"So then, who among us just found out where Ziletia is?"

"Considering that we have been sitting here since you went down that alley, my bet would be on you."

"Good bet. You win nothing. Anyway, she's not in that warehouse. She's in a building on the opposite side of that warehouse."

"Is there a way around to get there?"

"Not a quick way. Plus, the street on the other side is not all too friendly to outsiders so we can't be seen. However, I have a solution which I thought up while… actually never mind what I was doing when I thought this up."

"If that is so then what is this plan of yours?"

"Okay so basically, we climb up to the top of these buildings and get into the target building from above. That way we avoid combat, get to do some fun climbing and we get to do a stealth section!"

San and Bro both threw their arms up with joy while Kitiku kept hers crossed.

"I like the sound of the idea."

"HAHA! I made a good idea!"

They all got up and strolled casually around a corner, making sure not to attract any attention from the few people still around. When all was clear they started clambering up the metallic buildings. It was all so makeshift that the group found it exceptionally easy to scale the buildings. As they climbed, a question entered Kitiku's mind that she decided may as well be answered while they scaled the building:

"How did you know that those mercenaries worked for Ziletia?"

"I didn't."

"Why did you talk to them then?"

"Because I've never even met a red-skinned Twi'lek before. I had to get to know her."

"So it was just blind luck that you met someone who works for our enemy?"

"The two things I am best at in life: interacting with women and luck."

"That is probably the most modest thing you have ever said."

"Probably. My normal motto is 'If it can be done, I do it best'."

"If my patience was finite, it would be running thin by now."

"Aw don't say that. You like me really."

"I do like you. That doesn't mean I like everything about you."

Kitiku pulled herself up to the roof, followed by Bro then San. It was an especially vile place atop the roof, covered in a thick layer of dust and litter. Somehow, the air was even more unpleasant than it had been down below.

San made the mistake of poking his head over the edge and looking down. The ground felt much further away than he thought it would.

"Would you look at that, I now feel uneasy AND disgusted! Wonderful."

"Indeed. This place does instil a strange set of negative emotions."

The group moved across the building they were on and hopped up to the roof of the warehouse. It was only distinguishable from the other roof because it had a lot of broken glass all over it. When they got to the end of the building they were met with a 20 or so metre gap between them and the target building. The buildings either side were far taller and incredibly exposed to any prying eyes on the street below.

"Does The Force have a way to get us over there?" San asked while nudging Kitiku.

"Yes, however I do not believe we have time to learn it here. Plus, Bro will likely be useful in this operation."

"Bro is always useful."

"Do you have any ideas on how we should go about getting over there?"

San sat on the ledge and pondered it for a while.

All of a sudden he jumped to his feet as his face lit up.

"I've got it!"

"Go on then."

"Okay so how about we give Bro some rope, throw him to the other roof while we hold onto one end of the rope, then he ties the other end onto the other roof as we do the same here. Then, we can run along the length of the rope quickly so those guys below won't see and if they look up after we are gone it will just look like a clothing line!"

"That's quite a nice idea. Where do we get the rope though?"

"Nick it."

"We'll put it back were we found it when we are done. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Not like someone will miss rope anyway but we can do that. Not sure how, but we can do that."

Neither San nor Kitiku noticed that Bro had already gone and stolen far more rope than they could ever hope to use, about 100 metres of it to be precise. The Imperial was tangled in it and struggling to get himself out when the other two looked over to him. Kitiku helped. San laughed.

When, eventually, Bro was free he quickly grabbed an end of the rope and stood on the ledge, smiling cheerfully.

"You want to get throw through the air don't you?" San stated, getting an enthusiastic nod from Bro.

"Would you prefer that we throw you and then your weapons so that you do not hurt yourself on them when you land?" Kitiku queried while sorting the rope so that both her and San had something to hold onto.

Bro shook his head at her dismissively while securing his weapons onto the various parts of his armour. His two Jedi companions took a step back then put their hands up at the ready.

"Alright, on 3. 1… 2… 3!" San declared, at the end putting everything he had into throwing Bro as Kitiku did the same. The Imperial was flung off the ledge in the general direction of the other building. Kitiku attempted to slow down his descent with the intent of creating less noise on impact.

Mere moments later Bro landed and rolled along the roof, despite having a huge gun on his back that should have stopped him. He jumped up to his feet and threw his hands up, San doing the same thing quickly after.

When he had calmed down Bro knelt down and tied the rope to something near his feet. San took hold of his end of the rope and looked around for something to tie it to. This led to the main problem with San's plan, that being they were on a nearly bare roof.

"Well this is… a problem."

"One with a simple solution. We have far too much rope so we must simply go back until we find an object to tie it to."

"Yeah but… that would take too much effort when there is another way."

Just as Kitiku was about to continue the conversation, San removed a Lightsaber from his belt and ignited it. After cutting hole into the metal roof he put it back on his belt and tied the rope through the hole he cut.

"We are going to have to pay them for the repairs." Kitiku sighed while putting her face in her hands.

"Listen, pink lady, this ENTIRE planet is just one big ball of crime and rubbish. I doubt the person who owns this roof is going to mind. They are probably too bust murdering dudes."

"We're on a moon."

"Moon, planet, star, asteroid, ball of shite; what's the difference?"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of whit."

"Would you rather I made bad puns?"

"… Let's just stick with the sarcasm for now."

San just started smirking when a piece of metal hit him on the side of the head.

"Ah! What the balls?"

He turned to where it came from, finding himself looking at a bored-looking Bro. Neither San nor Kitiku could say anything the Imperial could hear without being loud enough to alert the mercenaries on the street below. Instead, San put his middle finger up to Bro before ignoring him.

"Let's take that to mean 'hurry up'. So, you go first. And remember to keep it fast or you'll be seen."

"Let us hope we do not find out what comes after being seen…"

"I can guess."

The Jedi Master put on foot on the ledge and the other on the rope. Without hesitation she put her other foot forward and started running along the rope, arms outstretched. She barely wobbled at all as she closed the last few metres and hopped onto the other roof. San stared on with a mix of disappointment and fear. Clearly he had hoped she would make it appear hard so that he didn't look bad by comparison.

"Bugger, damn and blast." He mumbled while getting ready at the end of the rope.

After a short run he was about half way along when San lost his balance. He fell quickly but just about managed to catch the rope with one hand. One look down showed that the street below was scattered with mercenaries, all equipped with easily enough weapons and ammo to take San down. Despite the advanced time of day, most of them appeared to still be very focused and vigilant. In a split-second decision he put up his free hand and pulled a half-detached balcony from the side of a building, dropping it down on some bins below. All the mercenaries immediately pointed their guns at it and started approaching, leaving some behind to cover them.

"Mercs seem a bit more organised these days." San thought to himself as he began to swing from one hand to the next along the rope until he reached the other side. Bro gave him a hand up as the mercenaries below started to lock down the area.

"It appears we have just limited our time." Kitiku noted.

"Yep. I doubt it will take long anyway. Now, how do we get in…"

"If I may make a suggestion, how about we use the window?"

"Aight."

San dropped off the side of the building then held onto the edge. The window in front of him was ever-so-slightly open so he grabbed it with one arm and pulled it open. As he lowered himself in Bro dropped down behind him. After a few moments all three were inside a small room with no lights, meaning the only source of light was from the window, which Kitiku closed to remove the evidence that they were there. She didn't seem to mind the utter darkness but San couldn't see well at all so he put on his mask and pulled his hood up. The mask had night-vision technology but it showed everything in red.

The room was mostly empty save for a few things you would expect to find in an office. Nothing appeared particularly out of the ordinary to any of the group until Kitiku realised that the chair was much larger than a normal office chair and on the desk was a triangular, golden prism with a name on the side she could not see. Clearly they were in the office of someone important.

Just how important was not a question she had the time to work out before the sound of a key being put in the door's lock rang through the room.

"Hide!" San whispered. Immediately the other two jumped into the leg-space in the underside of the desk, leaving him scanning the room for a different place to hide. None of the book-cases or tables provided sufficient cover. The door was already being opened when he came to the conclusion there was nowhere to hide so he pulled off his mask, put his hood down, sat on the desk and put on his best smile. The best San could hope for was it being a woman.

It was a woman. Not one he was in any particular mood to chat-up though.

As the light turned on his smile nearly faded but San just about managed to keep it up.

"Oh hi Ziletia… how's it going?"

The Sith glared at him with nothing but contempt in her purple eyes. Under the ever-present hood the only features San could make out was her chin and mouth, the latter having the same make-up that he remembered her having thousands of years ago. The top lip was fully coated in dark-red lipstick while the bottom lip only had an upside-down triangle in the middle. Despite his relation to her, San couldn't help but admire her choice of clothing. She had ditched her dull robes for leggings and a mostly black top which left her stomach and forearms exposed. It also had the aforementioned hood along with small shoulder-pads which, along with some parts of the chest cover, had white cloth spread around it.

"How did you get in here?"

"The window."

"And how did you get to this planet?"

"I would imagine a way very similar to how you got here."

"Don't joke with me."

"If you would like the exact details, I came here on a spaceship."

"A spaceship which also ferried 'Bro' and the Jedi under my desk I presume."

"Whaaat? I didn't know anything about that… I just came here to… compliment you…"

"Compliment me on what?"

"Well, I was going to congratulate you on the amazing escape from the old planet but now I see there is a lot more I should commend you on."

"… Are you hitting on me? In this situation?"

"Depends. I mean, if you want me to. It's just kind of hitting on myself really."

"There is so much that you don't understand about our relation, San. Or whatever it is you are going by these days."

"How about you tell me all the details over dinner and a few drinks?"

Suddenly the desk shook and Bro bundled out, looking around the room until his eyes met Ziletia's. Kitiku stepped out and stared intently at the Sith woman, waiting for any sudden movements.

"You do have a strange choice in allies."

"That's not an answer to my question. Ignore those two."

"Ugh… you know, there was a time when I thought that I could make you my ally. That was an idea you destroyed early on. With that said, I would very much love to see how you think. So next time we meet I shall have something for us to share. Until then, I must leave. There is so very much to do."

She curtsied and was about to leave when Kitiku raised her voice:

"Stop! You stand accused of the deaths of the entire population of a planet. As such, it is my duty to bring you to the Jedi Order for a fair trial."

A wicked grin crossed the Sith's face.

"If I had the time to spare for such trivial things I may actually consider it. Of course, busy women such as I have little spare time what-so-ever. Running for office is more difficult than you may think." She replied as if she was speaking to a child.

Ziletia put her hand in front of her chest then clenched it into a fist. Immediately the ceiling crashed down to the floor, covering the door behind her. It was far too big to move so neither Jedi tried.

"It is easier to tear down than to build up." Kitiku mumbled while stepping up to the window.

"I'd say that went well."

"How did that go well?"

"I'm going to get a free drink next time we see her. That's an incentive for me to bother."

Kitiku raised her eyebrows in contemplation then smiled.

"Now I know what kind of incentive you like."

"Exactly. Everything has gone perfectly."

Kitiku opened the window and pulled herself out then up to the roof, followed by San then Bro. They were all on the roof by the time Bro noticed a problem. The Imperial punched San on the arm then pointed to the source of a problem, that being a group of mercenaries searching the roof they needed to go back to in order to leave. The group, of course, contained the Jedi Padawan's Twi'lek friend.

"Oh bugger. That's a bit of a cunt isn't it?"

"Come on my obscenity-spewing friend. I believe we may be able to avoid a confrontation here."

"Good. I'd rather not die before I get my free drink."

Kitiku searched around in the darkness until she found the end of the rope that Bro had tied to some exposed piping. She untied it and tugged it from the pipe before handing it to San and Bro. After a quick peek at what was happening far below she took hold of it as well.

"When I say, we all jump."

Bro cheered but San just stood there and sighed.

"This takes me back to basic training in the Republic. Not a fond memory, that one."

"If it works, this might be a happy memory for all of us."

They all stepped to the ledge. Kitiku had a bit of confidence in her plan; just about enough to prefer it over needlessly wounding or killing mercenaries who may not have done anything wrong.

"Alright… jump!"

The next few moments were taken up by some falling and eventually a bit of wall-hitting. All three of them hit the wall of the building feet-first, though they still hit it hard enough to make Bro fall from the rope. San just barely managed to grab the Imperial by the collar before he could fall very far. Below them, mercenaries were scouring the area for the source of the balcony-based destruction.

Unfortunately for the trio, the commotion attracted the attention of everyone below. Immediately the walls around them were obliterated by blaster fire and explosives. One particularly large missile exploded right next to San, throwing him sideways and creating a hole in the metal wall. He barely managed to hold onto the rope with his free hand. When they swung back the other way San just about managed to throw Bro into the building through the still-smoking hole. After that he pulled himself through the hole then helped Kitiku in.

When they got up San immediately recognised that the group were in the warehouse from earlier. As they got up Kitiku noticed that they were atop a catwalk quite high from the warehouse floor. She barely had time to survey the surroundings and look for an exit before blaster bolts started smashing into the walls around them.

Bro grabbed the Jedi's arms and tugged them in the direction of a window at the end of the catwalk they were on. He threw them in the direction of it then pulled two blaster pistols from his hips and started returning fire at the mercenaries below, taking out 3 almost immediately. A blaster bolt hit him in the shoulder but it didn't get very far through the armour there. More mercenaries flooded into the warehouse so he turned and shot the window multiple times. He put his weapons back in their holsters and jumped through the window after San and Kitiku. After a short fall he hit the ground and rolled. They were in an alley which San seemed quite acquainted with. They ran through it as the shooting and explosions stopped, though only until mercenaries found them once again. When they got into the open street explosions blasted away the walls behind them. Kitiku looked back for a moment to see hundreds of droids walking out. Bro noticed as well so he turned and threw a grenade into the group of droids that were closest to them.

A few moments later a droid's arm flew past San's head, confirming his suspicion that Bro had done a good job with just one grenade.

Soon enough the shouting of mercenaries and sounds of gunfire died out behind them as the group ran down the streets they went down before. When all was clear they slowed to a walk but continued going relatively quickly away from the scene. They appeared to have got away with it so San started thinking up excuses he could tell to his date for why all the cloth and armour on his right side was singed.

"You don't reckon she will believe I got this in a bar-fight, do you?"

* * *

**I'm done. I can sleep. Woo!**

**Hope you all enjoyed though.**

**And I don't even have to do an asterisk section. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!**

**Yup.**

**Bye.**


	5. Chapter 5: Awkward silence

**Hi. How are you doing?**

**If 'good': yay.**

**If 'average': do fun stuff until you are at 'good'.**

**If 'bad': search 'Spiderman memes' in Google. Some of that stuff is funny as fuck.**

**Wow I feel like a nerd after saying that. I don't even care though, cause being a nerd is better than being any of the things which are not 'nerd'. Don't ask my logic on that. Hint: I don't have any logic on that.**

**I should probably say something relevant to the story here. Nah. That'd be boring and spoilery.**

**So… Uh… Yeah… Good.**

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Awkward silence**_

The only movement and the only noise both came from the same source, a tiny fan that was desperately trying to cool down the freighter's cockpit. All it really did was move the warm air in a circle around the room, constantly keeping new, hot air flowing onto Kitiku's face. Bro didn't have the same problem, but he was obviously boiling inside the armour.

However hot it was inside the freighter, Kitiku knew that it was much worse wherever San was.

A few minutes later, all questions were answered when San skipped merrily up the ramp and into the ship. He whistled as he jumped into the cockpit with his head held high. Kitiku span around on her chair to look at him as he smiled, hands on his hips. His face became covered in sheer satisfaction as San stepped over to, then sat down on the chair in-between the other two.

"So, gonna ask me how it went?"

"Alright. How di-"

"It went fantastic! Look, I even got a key for her apartment so I can visit whenever!"

"I think it is fair to say that you did not just have a conversation and dinner."

"We did. We did other stuff as well but we did have a chat. I'm not a totally abhorrent human being."

"You're not a bad person in the slightest. All I can really say against you is your choice of clothing and your basic instinct-focused free time."

"Really, what better way to live is there?"

"The peaceful, Jedi way is very satisfying for those who put their mind to it."

"Yeah, as we have discussed before I am not too great with peace. I'm perfectly alright with peace being a thing on a large scale and all but I just can't stand it when it's peaceful in my life. It's alright if I'm meditating or sleeping but if I'm awake and active it's real dull."

"Maybe you just need a hobby."

"I do-"

"Not that kind."

"Well what else am I supposed to do?!"

"That's something only you or someone who knows you well can answer."

He gasped and clicked his fingers.

"I can ask Ziletia when we are sharing a drink!"

"Though it is entirely your choice, I do not suggest getting advice from a Sith in this matter. Or anything now that I think of it, despite how abnormally pleasant she appeared at the start. Speaking of which would you like to explain why she didn't attack us like any normal Sith would have?"

"It almost definitely has a benefit for her in the long run. Even if she thought she could win she would probably still have not attacked. My guess is, everything we are going to do for some time will be exactly what she wants us to do."

"What do we do to stop it?"

"Knowing her as I do, there is nothing we can do. She'll have planned everything. Bit of a meticulous person, you ask me."

"So, with that being as it is, what are we going to do next? We've found no leads from this excursion."

"Actually I think we might have. It's just a theory but I think it might have some absolute truths in it."

"Please do go right ahead San."

"First off, thanks for not calling me Padawan. Okay then, what I thought up while being balls-deep in that Twi'lek is that she came to this planet, moon, whatever-the-fuck to get mercenaries, right? What would an incredibly powerful Sith need with mercs? What is the one thing that they can do which she can't?"

Bro shrugged but Kitiku simply continued looking intently at San, awaiting his answer intently.

"They can be in multiple places at once. But I hear you thinking, what does that achieve? Well, it takes a lot of people in a lot of places to rig an election. However, a big planet with a strong police force won't be affected by such things. What she will be looking for is a small planet with no real law-enforcers to speak of. All we have to do is find planets which fit that description and is also going to be having elections soon. And you know what? I know exactly the planet."

"How did you work this all out?"

"My new friend was very good. I didn't have to do very much at all."

"That doesn't…"

"Oh don't worry, even when I don't do much I'm still good. That's why I so often get invited back."

"And that has gone onto the list of things which I didn't want to hear but did anyway. This thing has doubled in length since I met you."

"My thing does that every time we meet."

"…"

"I thought that was pretty good. I bet Bro did as well."

San didn't even turn to confirm his suspicions, completely confident that he knew his friend's answer. Behind him, Bro was smiling and shaking his head slowly.

"Anyway… back to the important topic. What planet do you believe should be our next destination?"

"Personally I would like to go to your home-world but if we want to make some progress then I suggest we go to… dramatic pause… Bespin!"

"Are you sure? There is little there that I would think to be useful for a Sith."

"That's the point! Look at it, a planet with a small population who are not all armed to the teeth. But, it also has a seat in the Galactic Alliance's senate. Although, I did only learn this all from a single book so most of it is guesswork."

"I trust your judgement, even if I cannot fully comprehend how you came to the conclusion you did. I'm not sure how much she will be able to achieve from there or why she would want a seat on the senate in the first place but I am not the one who knew her."

"Senate members have more power and get away with more when compared to normal people."

"I see. Hopefully this time I will be able to remember the reasoning for more than a week."

"Surely memory tests would be a part of the Jedi training."

"That's a grey area."

"Grey area. In the Jedi… you guys were so much more useful when we were fighting the Sith Empire."

"In fairness to the Jedi leaders we did get nearly wiped out just a few hundred years ago and since then we have not really been able to recreate everything from past times. Either because of not having the resources, not knowing how or not wanting to. An example of the last one would be the relationship rules, though it has become a taboo subject."

"Yeah but I don't care for taboo shit. If some stuck-up Jedi twat tries to tell me to not bang everyone I want to then I'll rip out their throat with a rusty spork."

"Spork?"

"Fork and spoon in one."

"Hmm. Well in future I shall make sure not to make you stop having sex with people. My throat functions best where it is."

"Obvious overstatement was not obvious for Jedi."

"Obvious sarcasm was not obvious for San."

"Touché Kitiku… touché…"

* * *

**Yeah this is a filler chapter because the next one was going to be long as fuawk so this gets shortened cause I didn't want to cut it off mid-way through the next thing.**

**And just in case that didn't tell it to you, the next chapter is going to have far too much going on because I had tons of ideas that won't work at any other point in the story with the current plant I have.**

**So bye. I'll see you all in two weeks.**

**Hope you enjoyed it anyway.**


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